Winning Your Wife Back With Love
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Winning Your Wife Back With Love
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back With Love
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back With Love
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access to every one of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Winning Your Wife Back With Love
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back With Love
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Winning Your Wife Back With Love