Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the end. Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the same effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Winning Your Wife Back With God’s Help