Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your own thoughts at the conclusion. Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have exactly the identical effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Winning Your Wife Back From Another Man