Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m sure you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences at the end. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.

This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.

So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Winning Your Wife Back During A Separation

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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