Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the end. Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late