Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the same impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Winning Your Wife Back Before It Is Too Late