Win Your Husband Back After Affair

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you need the time before you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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Win Your Husband Back After Affair

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the end. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.

This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.

So you need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Win Your Husband Back After Affair

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