Win Your Husband Back After Affair
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. Win Your Husband Back After Affair
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Win Your Husband Back After Affair
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need the time before you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win Your Husband Back After Affair
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Win Your Husband Back After Affair
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Win Your Husband Back After Affair
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Win Your Husband Back After Affair