Win My Wife Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. Win My Wife Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Win My Wife Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

However there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.

So you will need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win My Wife Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Win My Wife Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Win My Wife Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Win My Wife Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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Win My Wife Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Win My Wife Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Win My Wife Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.

So you need time until you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win My Wife Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to every one of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Win My Wife Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it will reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win My Wife Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get exactly the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. Win My Wife Back

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