Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the end. Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you will need time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to get the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Win My Wife Back After She Filed For Divorce