Win My Husband’s Heart Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Win My Husband’s Heart Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Win My Husband’s Heart Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win My Husband’s Heart Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Win My Husband’s Heart Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win My Husband’s Heart Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Win My Husband’s Heart Back