Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you all agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.

However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.

So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get exactly the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

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Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.

This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.

So you will need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Win My Husband Back Before Divorce

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