Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have exactly the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Win Ex Wife Back Even When She Says No