Win Back Husband’s Love
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Win Back Husband’s Love
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Win Back Husband’s Love
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you will need the time before you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Win Back Husband’s Love
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Win Back Husband’s Love
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Win Back Husband’s Love
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Win Back Husband’s Love