Will No Contact Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts at the end. Will No Contact Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Will No Contact Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Will No Contact Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Will No Contact Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Will No Contact Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Will No Contact Get My Husband Back