Will My Ex Husband Come Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Will My Ex Husband Come Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Will My Ex Husband Come Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Will My Ex Husband Come Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to all my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Will My Ex Husband Come Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Will My Ex Husband Come Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get exactly the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Will My Ex Husband Come Back