Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the end. Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get exactly the same impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Will My Ex Husband Come Back To Me