Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need time before you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to all of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Will Me And My Husband Get Back Together