Will I Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the end. Will I Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Will I Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Will I Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Will I Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Will I Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Will I Get My Husband Back