Will I Ever Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts at the end. Will I Ever Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Will I Ever Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Will I Ever Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Will I Ever Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Will I Ever Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get exactly the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Will I Ever Get My Husband Back