Wife Ex General Confess
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. Wife Ex General Confess
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Wife Ex General Confess
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Wife Ex General Confess
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Wife Ex General Confess
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Wife Ex General Confess
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the identical effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. Wife Ex General Confess