When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time until you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access to every one of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. When Your Husband Leaves You And You Want Him Back