Certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask when facing a marriage crisis is this: What To Say To Save A Marriage 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help look for a solution…?

How do I succeed I’m trying to save my marriage by myself…?

It’s a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the possibility, uncertainty, fear, desire, hope of rescuing their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two different people causing the total well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and rescue it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are only the victim here, afterall!

How to save a marriage

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

 

The Best Way To Save Your Marriage All on Your Own What To Say To Save A Marriage

The very first thing you must know is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you wish to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the beginning of the end.

Again, it is likely to fail if you’re looking for someone to blame or somebody else to put the physical and psychological work into saving the marriage. What To Say To Save A Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what comes your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something you CAN DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and create connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with other people and the character of how we interact with people is a basic part of psychological and personal development. What To Say To Save A Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from proper adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots people enter relationships and marriages with plan, the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and when they do so we fear. When our spouse leaves, our fears kick in. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to put the blame of the other person for having made us miserable.What To Say To Save A Marriage

In order to save your marriage when you are the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your spouse – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy difficult person to a person who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your lifetime happiness, you both have less bags and much more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Rather than beat yourself up in desperation, try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:What To Say To Save A Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is the type of you that would allow your partner to return and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking positive steps to work them through. What To Say To Save A Marriage

In being open and mature, you can provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your partner. What To Say To Save A Marriage

Through small acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You might be making!

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