What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the end. What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. What Can I Do To Win My Wife Back