What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.

So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

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What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences at the end. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.

So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to get the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. What Can I Do To Win My Husband Back

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