Ways To Win Your Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. Ways To Win Your Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Ways To Win Your Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Ways To Win Your Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Ways To Win Your Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Ways To Win Your Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have the identical impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Ways To Win Your Wife Back