Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the end. Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time to calm down before you confer with your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to every one of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to get the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Ways To Win Back Your Ex Wife