Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts at the conclusion. Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need the time until you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get exactly the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. Ways To Get Your Ex Husband Back