When confronting a marriage crisis, this is certainly one of the questions spouses ask:How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t wish to help find an answer…?

How do I succeed I’m trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a typical story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people contributing to the overall well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually decide to try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Relationship All on Your Own How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

The very first thing you need to know is, if you would like to save your marriage and if you end up alone in this need, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the start of the ending.

If you are looking for a person to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage, again, it’s likely to fail. How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what’s your way.

NOT true!

There is still something you are able to DO. Even in your loneliness and solitude, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin first by analyzing what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It’s a part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people and the character of how we interact with people is a fundamental aspect of personal and psychological development. How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from proper adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter relationships and marriages with dream, plan and the hope that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our entire beings on them and relying on them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and if they do so we panic. When our spouse leaves, our fears kick in. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us unhappy.How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

In order to save your marriage when you’re the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, adapt and internalize this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

An entire human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, hard person to a person who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own lifetime happiness, you both have less bags and much more genuine love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success rather than beat yourself up in desperation:How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For this is your type that would enable your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital issues and actually start taking steps to work them through. How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue showing him or her that you do and loving your spouse. How To Save A Marriage From Divorce

Through small acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the adult, new you.

You might be making!

You can’t afford to give your marriage 50 percent…

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You have to learn what is needed to save your marriage.

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