Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down until you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. Steps To Get Your Ex Husband Back