Steps To Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. Steps To Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Steps To Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Steps To Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” Steps To Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Steps To Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have exactly the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Steps To Get My Husband Back