When confronting a marriage crisis, this is one of the most frequent questions spouses ask: Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair 

Can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t want to help find an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I’m trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are just two different people causing the overall well being and health of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are just the victim here, afterall!

How to save a marriage

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Relationship On Your Own Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

The very first thing you need to understand is, if you end up alone in this need and if you would like to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other partner to make the first move would be the beginning of the end.

If you’re seeking someone to blame or someone else to put the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage, again, it is going to fail. Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the belief that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There is still something that you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people of the way we interact with people and the nature is a fundamental part of personal and emotional development. Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust, the love, companionship and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many people enter into adult life without even being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from proper mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots people enter relationships and marriages with dream, plan and the hope that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us happy and secure. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life happiness on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations put upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in when our spouse leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to put the blame of another person for having made us miserable.Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

So as to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness.

This is where the individual truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to one who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and open communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your lifetime happiness, you both have less baggage and much more genuine love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your Personal transformation and lead your marriage to success, rather than beat yourself up in Despair:Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is the type of you that would allow your partner to come back and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You can even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your partner. Should I Save My Marriage After An Affair

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming from the mature, new you.

You could be making mistakes that will jeopardize your union recovery!

You can’t afford to provide your marriage 50%…

You want 100 percent – you need the very best, PROVEN METHODS and information now!

You need to find out what it takes to save your marriage.

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Since your marriage deserves better!

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