Certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask when facing a marriage crisis is this: Repairing A Marriage After Transference 

How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn’t wish to help find an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I’m attempting to save my marriage by myself…?

It’s a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is cloudy. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the potential, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are two different people contributing to the general health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to try and rescue it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, afterall!

How to save a marriage

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

 

How To Save Your Marriage On Your Own Repairing A Marriage After Transference

The first thing you need to understand is, if you end up alone in this desire and if you wish to rescue your marriage, waiting for the other spouse to make the initial move would be the beginning of the ending.

Again, it is going to fail if you are looking for a person to blame or someone else to set the physical and psychological work in to saving the marriage. Repairing A Marriage After Transference

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something that you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin by examining what it means to be on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and create connections with other people, whether through friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with others and the nature of how we interact with individuals is a basic aspect of development that is personal and psychological. Repairing A Marriage After Transference

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These constitute part of our private shelter amidst challenges and difficulties. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being conscious of this gorgeous, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter relationships and marriages with plan the hope and dream that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our life happiness.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and when they do so we fear. Our fears kick in when our spouse leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to put the blame of the other person for having made us miserable.Repairing A Marriage After Transference

So as to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a good look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can definitely NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is not difficult to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, difficult person to one who can offer an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have much less baggage and much more genuine love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Instead of beat yourself up in Despair, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:Repairing A Marriage After Transference

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is your type that would allow your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually begin taking steps to work them through. Repairing A Marriage After Transference

In being open and mature, you can also provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to keep showing her or him that you do and loving your spouse. Repairing A Marriage After Transference

Through small acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming from the adult, new you.

You may be making mistakes which will endanger your marriage recovery!

You can not afford to provide your marriage 50 percent…

You want 100 percent – you will need the BEST, PROVEN information and METHODS now!

You need to learn what is needed to save your marriage.

My Save My Marriage Today class has helped rescue thousands of marriages and is certain to deliver results or your money back.

You need to go to Save My Marriage Today and find that life-changing course.

Since your marriage deserves better!

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