Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your own thoughts in the end. Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Mantra To Get Husband Back After Separation