Letter To Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the end. Letter To Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. Letter To Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Letter To Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” Letter To Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. Letter To Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. Letter To Get My Husband Back