Letter To Get Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. Letter To Get Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. Letter To Get Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. Letter To Get Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” Letter To Get Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. Letter To Get Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. Letter To Get Husband Back