I Want To Get My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. I Want To Get My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. I Want To Get My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. I Want To Get My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” I Want To Get My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. I Want To Get My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. I Want To Get My Husband Back