I Want My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. I Want My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. I Want My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. I Want My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” I Want My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. I Want My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have the identical impact as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. I Want My Ex Husband Back