I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the end. I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. I Want My Ex Husband Back And He’s Remarried