I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you open access to all my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will only undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. I Really Want To Get Back With My Ex Husband