I Got My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. I Got My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. I Got My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need the time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. I Got My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” I Got My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. I Got My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get exactly the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. I Got My Ex Husband Back