How To Win Your Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Win Your Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need the time before you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Wife Back