How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need time until you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get exactly the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Wife Back Who Left You