How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.

So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Wife Back From Divorce

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