How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Wife Back During Separation