How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time to calm down until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Wife Back During A Divorce