How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need the time before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Wife Back Before Divorce