How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time until you apologize to your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get exactly the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Wife Back After You Cheated