How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need time before you confer with your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Wife Back After She Cheated