How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity