How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Win Your Wife Back After Divorce